I'm in a hurry to get things done

I'm so tired.....that about sums up the majority of what I feel like when I get home from work. Some of these girls are so gung ho to get out and go to town after work. Not me. I feel like I want to just be a hermit and snuggle up on the couch with my dog and fall asleep. After 10 or more hours a day of complete chaos and no breaks I really don't want to be around people. Is that normal? My head buzzes and everything hurts so laying still in total silence feels sooooo nice.
I feel like since I started this process 3 months ago I was so happy and so ready to get up and go. I don't know if it's just because I'm exhausted right now or what but I just don't want to be that happy at the moment. I have my days like everyone of course but this week has been wearing on me. I mean I still have my posotive outlook of where I am and the people, places, horses I'm being given acess to however.....I am on a very particular journey. I am here to learn. I didn't set out to just be a professional show groom.....I did that 6 years ago. I don't just want to train young horses.....I already know I can do that.....I want to learn and be a part of new techniques and ideas. I have a hunger inside of me to better myself and won't be satisfied until I can achieve that.
I have taken a step up since we've been home and I know as we go along things will continue to rise, I just question if it's in the right direction for me. I need to sit down and talk to Amy again. I just had a good talk with my mom and (again with the lessons I'm learning) here comes the "stand up for what you want and believe in" one again.
Ok going to stop myself there......I could rant on and on I'm sure.
More about the actual details of my day......
Started at 7 as usual....fed the clinic barn and headed out to feed the outside horses. The foals are sure growing on me. I work with them everyday putting the halter on, picking up feet and grooming them. Cute little suckers. Headed over to the girls and boys fields and fed them and checked waters. Drove back to the clinic barn to get the stalls done and horses turned out. The barn was a zoo today with lessons again so amounst the wheelbarrows and flying sawdust were riders and their horses trying to make their way to the arena. We are in full swing getting ready for the next show which is Palgrave. Well actually I think a few of them are leaving on Monday to go to Bolton but thats just a one or two day thing. Next week they all leave for a week for the Palgrave show....then they come home for a week and are off to Spruce!
I have been learning everything I'll need to know around here for when they are gone....maybe that's why my head is buzzing. It's just a little overwhelming at the moment.....which I knew it would be.
Does anyone know Simply SM? He's a huge dark bay that was standing at stud at Spruce Meadows back in 2003 when I worked there. Anyway he's one of my horses I'm grooming now.....I just love how small this world is sometimes. I have 4 fantastic horses in my barn.....Simply, Eurostar, No Mercy and Monte.
Got to learn more about the outside fencing today so I spent some time fixing ods and sods out there. Cleaned mountains of tack....leaving out tons of things but as I type my wrists are really starting to burn. My tendonitis has really flared up since we've been home from Florida. Maybe I should go dig out some more of the Tendonil cream and put it on myself.....maybe it'll feel better. I could wrap them like I do for the horses lol.
I have completly gone off track and so I think I'll leave you with that. I think everyone reading should sign up so you can reply to me. Not one reply in the last 3 or 4 letters.....haha just bugging you. But I do really really like to hear from you. I've been very lonely since I came back to Ontario with no TV and still no phone (I'm working on it) but in the meantime all I have is you....feeling guilty yet? Is it working? WRITE TO ME :) Miss you!