Long Day

Today felt really long as I was tired and sore. Didn't sleep well last night as I kept trying to put my hand under my pillow and would wake up in alot of pain. This morning my whole hand was swollen and I could barely bend my finger. It was quite the process to get dressed and put my hair in a pony tail. I was determined to go to work and try my best not to complain. It was just Christian and I cleaning the barn this morning and of course he does thinkgs alot faster then Mandy and I do. I was trying to keep up the pace but my hand was not working the way I wanted it to. I made it through cleaning and turning horses out. At coffee break Mandy brought me some cream to put on it and Christian gave me a hard time about resting it throught the night. Said if I would have kept working then it wouldnt have swelled up haha. Then went on about telling me I should have stayed on and the things I did wrong. I try to take his critisim as his way of teaching. I just agree for the most part and listen well to everything he says. When I have a chance to go and watch them work with the horses i do and take it all in. It's just a very different way of riding the young ones I'm not used to. I will do my best to learn it their way and I won't give up.
He said today how I shouldn't be on the young ones and he'd be the one to get in trouble if I get hurt and can't do my job. I told him I'm thankful for every opportunity he gives me and I know it's all part of it. I won't say anything to the Millars and I'm more then happy to climb back on next time he asks me to....well except today because he wanted me to get on lightening who isn't broke, he's the biggest one here and he's spooky. I just said I can't use my left hand so today really isn't a good day. He always looks at me like he's so disapointed but I like to think he at least understands.....maybe?
I will learn alot from Christian and Mandy...they are wonderful people. We all have days where we feel low and that it's hard to keep going but if you just keep your chin up and get through another day, it always gets better.
I have alot going on both here and at home and this week has been a bit of a struggle for me. I'm homesick, I miss the farm and the people I love and I'm lonely but it's nice to know I have people out there rooting for me and I'm enjoying this so much. My mom always says " This too shall pass..." and I can't wait until it does. I think I'm going to go have a shower, ice my hand and try to unwind. I wish I had tv....Grey's Anatomy is on tonight. I'm sad I'll be missing it haha. Goodnight everyone. Big hugs!